


It all started with a prank

by Pendarcho



Category: Bleach, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, More characters will be tagged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24130549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendarcho/pseuds/Pendarcho
Summary: It all started with a prank that went too far.  Hitsugaya Toushiro would've never thought he'd be going on a mission to a strange planet and with an even stranger company.
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, there. First of all, if you missed it, this is a CRACK fic in which both Gintama and Bleach universes converge into one. I took some characters from Gintama and put them as part of Soul Society just because. Also, because I love quirky comedy, I made Hitsugaya's relationship with Kurotsuchi different.
> 
> They prank each other. A lot. Obviously, because they hate each other. So that's how the premise of this fic was made.

Hitsugaya Toushiro was in a bad mood. Wait, that wasn't true. There were a whole lot of things that made the little Captain moody –like Matsumoto's uselessness or nagging on her job–, but none of them could compare to something like this. No, he wasn't in a bad mood; he was _pissed_.

It all started with a prank that went too far. He didn't truly mean it, but then again it was Kurotsuchi –you could never be sure if you took things too far.

It was a normal day at his office –him, working with piles of paperwork that Matsumoto neglected–, when nature called and he decided to take a breather outside. And what an unpleasant surprise was coming back to his office to discover all his paperwork turned into butterflies. After a long pranking history, he immediately knew who was responsible.

"KUROTSUCHI!"

 _Oh,_ he thought after calming down. _The vengeance will be terrible._

However, he didn't mean it to make it _that_ terrible. It was a bit of a miscalculation on his part, he would admit.

He borrowed from Katsura Kotaro an old bomb he had, took it to Gengai so he could make it non-deadly or something –just the exact deadly for a prank–and detonated it inside Kurotsuchi's lab while he and the other scientists were away. What he didn't know was that inside a cabinet was Kurotsuchi's latest research on a teleportation device that would help Shinigamis and the likes escape in case they encountered a too powerful was surprisingly thoughtful on Kurotsuchi's part and even Yamamoto was pleasantly surprised.

And speaking of the Commander, he already knew of this project and was happily waiting for Kurotsuchi's work which would –spoiler– blow up along the lab. Yeah, he should've thought twice before trusting Gengai's competence. He always made things way too explosive for his liking and that specific bomb was supposed to just release a putrid gas; an ugly odor that would stay at the lab for a long time. The bomb did _that_ andalso exploded.

So, long story short, he terribly screwed up and felt for the first time in a while like a misbehaved child in front of the Commander's disappointed eyes. He still couldn't believe his luck: the prank going wrong and Kurotsuchi actually inventing something useful for once.

The ice Captain was planning on actually apologizing to the mad scientist –and wouldn't that have been a sight– but said scientist acted faster and set up a revenge plan. He had read thoroughly about a new mission –something about a new planet with very serious unevenness reiatsu levels that had to be studied with caution– and convinced the Commander that Hitsugaya Toushiro was the man for the job. It was petty revenge, but still: a) the small Captain would be sent to another planet and hopefully die or something b) he would get time to research new prank ideas and finally have some leverage in this stupid –but entertaining– war they've been at for years.

So, in summary, Kurotsuchi was satisfied with his half-assed next idea of a prank and Hitsugaya wanted to kick himself for even thinking about apologizing.

"Since when do we take missions to other planets?" Hitsugaya had asked aghast, as he leafed through the mission's details. Not even two days had passed, before he was surprised with this unexpectant turn of events.

"Since the Amanto invaded Earth and started making contact with us? _Yeesh_ , Captain, you are so slow today." Kurotsuchi was calmly drinking tea, as if the whole issue was of little interest or totally ordinary.

"No, seriously," Hitsugaya's voice started to sound slightly frantic –much to the scientist's sadistic glee. "I've never heard about missions outside our planet. This is totally new and there's no methodology or precedent that I'm aware of and hell if I'm going to trust you in teleporting me to the right place-" he widened his eyes, suddenly realizing, much to Kurotsuchi's amusement. "Wait! Are you seriously going to use _me_ as a guinea pig for your teleportation device?! Is this checked?"

"Of course it is!" Kurotsuchi gleefully pat his back, ignoring the other Captain's icy glare. "Don't worry, you're going to be just fine. Maybe. You're leaving in two days."

"This documents say that I'm going with three other people," Hitsugaya said with fake calm. He prevented himself from sighing, as he ominously glared at the scientist. "Who are this people?"

Kurotsuchi's already wide smile widened further.

* * *

"Yo," dead fish eyes greeted him with a lazy wave.

Hitsugaya stared back with a careful blank face at the… _acquaintance_ , who had come along with the other two kids. Always joined at the hip, those three. It wasn't that Hitsugaya disliked them –it was more… the mission. Right. The mission would undoubtedly be a failure with those three.

"So," the small Captain started, without even paying attention anymore to Kurotsuchi's triumphant face, "these are going to be my…partners." His shoulders slumped dejectedly, already surrendering to his fate.

"Sakata Gintoki and this two are of the few people in here that had travelled to other planets and even through time. You'll learn from them; they have _experience_ ," Kurotsuchi gave him a mocking smile.

"Yeah! You'll learn from the experts," the China girl cheered, pointing at herself.

"Not now, Kagura-chan," the glasses boy –Shinpachi, Hitsugaya recalled– sighed, while the supposed adult of the group was picking his nose.

 _Kami, give me patience_ , was the mantra Hitsugaya would keep repeating to himself for the next days.

"Now!" Kurotsuchi suddenly clapped, pulling Hitsugaya off from his thoughts. "This here," he pulled out from nowhere a simple looking oval object with a screen on top, "is the teleportation device I've created. Don't ask for a name because I have no idea nor great desire to put a name on it. Just call it whatever."

"Sadaharu 248!" Kagura exclaimed excitedly.

Hitsugaya sweat dropped. Just how many Sadaharus has she had?

"Sure. Let's call it that," Kurotsuchi agreed easily. "Now, I'll explain how this works. When you reach destination we'll maintain contact via cellphone and Hitsugaya here will explain you all details of the mission."

The scientist was very clear in his explanation and didn't need to repeat himself. It was basically like using a cellphone, except the only information you had on screen was the planet you were in and the time and date. And –obviously– the option of travelling to any planet the device recognized. They also –with the help of other scientists and even Gengai and Ukitake– prepared other type of provisions for the journey.

"I guess we should get going then," Hitsugaya Toushiro announced and activated Sadaharu 248. He, along his new companions, disappeared in a flash of white light.

* * *

The continuous silence of the desert was interrupted by a sudden and deafening whirr. Clashes of colors –green, red, blue and white– were projected in the sky; a beautiful and abnormal event that lasted less than a minute, before the colorful swirls of light united and crumpled down to form on land an oval shape of white light. As if it was a door, a white-haired kid –with strikingly foreign features– passed through. His expression was focused –in an almost predatory way– attentive to any sign of danger; but his concentration was immediately ruined, when another three figures emerged, awkwardly bumping and falling over the "kid".

"Get off!" Hitsugaya flapped both arms uselessly, his back uncomfortably squashed by Gintoki's muscly body.

"Ouch! Don't push on me like that, Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi, who was on Gintoki –who was on Hitsugaya–, turned his head over his shoulder to glare at her, but was surprised by the new furry addition.

"Wha- when did Sadaharu come?!" he spluttered

"Arph!" The giant dog spoke up, as if reaffirming his presence.

Hitsugaya sighed heavily, as they all slowly got up; the portal already having disappeared.

"Is everyone all right?" Shinpachi asked, once he was done dusting off the sand from his outwear.

Gintoki threw a glance to his partners, who had instinctively gathered in a circle with him. "I see no extra limbs attached. I guess that should count for something."

"We still don't know for sure," the Captain pointed out dryly. "At least this thing–"

"Sadaharu 248!" Kagura chirped in.

Hitsugaya twitched, but didn't comment. "…at least it indicates that we are at the right planet, Gaia."

Gintoki looked around them, very unimpressed. "Still, of all places to land, it had to be on a _desert_? It doesn't evoke me good memories."

The small Captain showed his agreement with a slight nod. "If this planet is similar to Earth like the files say, there should be a preferable climate zone outside this one. If it's cold, better."

Shinpachi looked at him sympathetically. "Right, you have ice powers, after all. Are you going to be all right, Hitsugaya-san?"

"For now," he replied, already feeling a bit tired. "What truly worries me is that I feel my link with Hyorinmaru weaker. He's still there and I hear him, but it's blurry."

Gintoki looked pensive."It must have something to do with the planet's energy. It kinda feels…" he frowned, "unstable."

Without even meaning it, that last word triggered a memory in the Captain. The real reason for this unusual mission.

_Hitsugaya had just finished reading and processing the mission's details, when he decided to visit the creepy scientist at his office._

_"I see you have questions," the scientist spoke up_ – _already feeling Hitsugaya's presence in his office_ – _while he was writing down some notes._

_Impassively, the Captain tossed his files before Kurotsuchi's eyes. "There's something about this mission you aren't telling me."_

_Kurotsuchi finally looked up at him with those eerie eyes of him. "Nothing escapes you, huh. I see why the call you a prodigy_ – _"_

_Hitsugaya's gaze sharpened. "I don't have time for useless chit-chat. Answer me."_

_Kurotsuchi, as if not bothered by the other's interruption, got up from his chair and turned his back to the Captain; hiding this way his tense expression._

_"That planet, Gaia, has an expiration date."_

_The air in the office suddenly seemed too constricted, a suffocating moment of silence portraying the density of the message. "You mean," Hitsugaya breathed out," it's dying?"_

_Kurotsuchi nodded somberly and finally turned to face him. There was a solemn air around him that was highly unusual for him. "As you know, a few decades ago Gengai –and the other idiot, Urahara_ – _founded the Astronomy Department. At first, I didn't truly care about it, but now I admit –that with all the technological advances and the imminent threat of a new hostile Amanto invasion_ – _the existence of this institute has its level of importance_ – _"_

_"I know all that," Hitsugaya cut in impatient, wondering why was it that all scientists spoke too much. "Get to the point."_

_For the first time in the conversation, Kurotsuchi showed signs of annoyance in his body language. "The point is that they discovered in an almost deserted galaxy a small planet that resembles Earth."_

_Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow, unconvincevely. "A deserted galaxy?"_

_"Yes, by deserted I mean that it's not even frequented by Amanto. Most planets there have no intelligent life and it's not even a good route for trading or a strategic point or whatever. So I guess you could imagine my surprise with this discovery."_

_The office suddenly turned colder. "So that's it?" the Captain's voice was frigid. "You're sending me and other three poor souls to a planet we know nothing about, just for a curiosity?"_

_"Don't be stupid," Kurotsuchi said, almost offended. "Do you think the Commander would allow this if that was the case?"_

_The ice Captain forced himself to regain his calm. "Then why," he breathed out._

_"Because," and this time Kurotsuchi smiled, "if we investigate the cause for this planet's imminent death, we'll have the tools to prevent our planet's death."_

_Hitsugaya's expression turned noncommittal. "You think something like that could happen on Earth?"_

_"It will," Kurotsuchi somberly assured. "And if not, then at least we'll be prepared."_

"Oi, Toushiro," a lazy voice called. "Oi!"

"Don't call me 'Toushiro'," was the Captain's answer in autopilot, slowly coming to the present. He had been staring intensely at the sky without even noticing.

"Well, now that Pazu over here has stopped looking for Laputa, we should think about where to go next," the silver haired samurai trailed off, not bothering with asking the ice Captain what that was about.

Hitsugaya appreciated that one of Gintoki's few qualities was not getting in other's business, unless it was truly necessary. And it helped that the other two kids were sensible enough and played along, not asking too many questions. It was a pity, though, that the three of them were scoundrels most of the time –Shinpachi not too much, though. They were, however, good partners for pranking. Oh, yes, throughout the last years him and the Odd Jobs had built a kind of business relation based on pranking Kurotsuchi. Now that he thought about it, it was possible that Kurotsuchi had discovered his partners in crime and decided to send them away too. He absently made a mental note to investigate that back at home.

"Guys, can you also feel a few human souls that way?" Shinpachi, always the silence breaker, asked, pointing a direction.

They could all, in fact, feel it.

"So there are humans even here, huh. Papi was right, saying your species is a plague," Kagura spoke, while chewing on some sukonbu she had pulled out from her chest area.

"I think he's frustrated because those earth products for hair growth I sent to him didn't work out," Gintoki said in a pensive manner.

Hitsugaya pinched the bridge of his nose –both affected by the heat and the thought that he would have to get used to the company of these bizarre idiots.

"Let's just get out of here," the Captain huffed, uncomfortable with the clammy feeling of sweat rolling down his body. He took out from underneath his haori a small metallic case and opened it. Inside, there were several capsules. "Gengai gave me this. He somehow managed to put big objects in this tiny capsules."

"Oi, doesn't that remind you of something? I think Bulma invented something like that," Gintoki said uneasily.

"That's because she did," Shinpachi asserted. "It's a total rip off of DB."

Hitsugaya frowned. "What are you guys on about?"

" **Practically everything at this point is a rip off of DB** ," A known voice suddenly spoke up. The Odd Jobs and the Captain looked down at the Sadaharu 248 device only to find a grinning Gengai occupying the whole screen.

"Old man!" Kagura waved energetically.

"Have you been hearing us all this time?" Hitsugaya asked, uncomfortable at the notion.

" **Yes!** " Gengai declared shamelessly. " **I added this communication function to see your faces. Of course, you still have your phones, but I prefer this.** "

"You sound like a sappy grandad that wants to see his grandchildren face to face all the time," Shinpachi said abashed. "Someone kill me, please."

"You're already dead, uh-huh," Kagura reminded him in a pretentious grave tone.

"Oh, right."

"All of you. Shut up," Hitsugaya, feeling testy enough by being stranded in the middle of the hot desert, said in a tone that left no room for discussion. "Gengai, is there a capsule with any means of transport?" He asked, wiping off some sweat with the back of the hand.

" **Capsule n.8 has Ginnoji's scooter in it** ," the inventor affirmed.

"What about the other capsules?" Shinpachi asked, regarding them noncommittally.

" **It'll depend with how the plot progresses**."

Hitsugaya paid them no mind and took out the capsule. He pressed on the small cap and _puff:_ Gintoki's white scooter appeared in thin air.

"This really is convenient," Gintoki said in wonder. He walked to it and took the helmet that was propped on one of the handles. "I have room for one of you."

"I'll go with Kagura on Sadaharu," Hitsugaya said, glancing at her and receiving a nod. He'd never liked motorcycles or anything of the like.

"Then it's decided. Hop on, Patsuan."

Shinpachi procedded to do just that, while Kagura and Hitsugaya were set on Sadaharu. Gintoki straddled his scooter and revved up the engine.

The journey had just started.


	2. Chapter 2

As they rapidly closed in the distance to where they felt human presences, the overbearing weather of the desert started to fully kick in. Hitsugaya started to feel agitated and strangely dazed; something he hadn't experienced in a long while. His sweaty hands took hold of Sadaharu's soft fur, as a means of anchoring himself to reality. He was already dead. He wasn't supposed to feel like he was dying.

"Oi, don't pinch Sadaharu like that," Kagura yelled, her eyes still on the road, as she heard Sadaharu's cry of discomfort. When she received no response, she turned around to look at him and, then, stopped altogether. Sadaharu barked to get the other's attention. Gintoki promptly stopped –resulting in Shinpachi falling face flat on the sand.

Paying the glasses no mind, Gintoki strode purposefully to them. "What's the problem?"

Kagura pointed at Hitsugaya, who was uncommonly red and breathing hard. He seemed to be fighting to stay conscious."He's all red and sweaty; it's gross," Kagura said with an impressive mix of worry and disgust. Hitsugaya weakly glared at her.

Gintoki exhaled heavily, as Shinpachi recovered and caught up to them. "Okay," the silver haired started," okay. Before we discuss what's happening, we should get to a place where he can recover. Humans here should have refuge from the heat. Hell," he ran his hand through his hair, catching drops of sweat in it," I kinda feel like shit too. He, being an ice soul and shit, could be worse off."

"I can still hear you," Hitsugaya tried to sound severe, but the effect was ruined by the weakness displayed in his voice.

"Don't worry, Toushi, I'll get you water from that pond over there," Kagura said, starting to walk off in a random direction.

"Kagura-channnn!" Shinpachi grabbed her, before she could walk off to who knows where. "You clearly need rest too!"

Gintoki face-palmed. "Okay, let's do this. If we go to the direction where most humans are, we'll still have to travel a good distance. However, just a few miles from here I sense a human presence. Only one, but who knows, maybe he has air conditioner or something."

Nobody was in the mood to oppose, so they did just that.

In less than five minutes they arrived to where the only human was residing. There, in the middle of the desert, was a cottage-like-house that looked shabby and consumed by time. The Odd Jobs and the Captain would've thought it was abandoned if it wasn't for the all-terrain vehicle parked near the entrance.

Gintoki hastily parked his scooter next to it and neared the house with Shinpachi by his side. Both Hitsugaya and Kagura followed them closely behind, still on Sadaharu. They reached the threshold and Gintoki easily –maybe with more force than intended– broke the lock and got in. After they'd helped Sadaharu pass through with a few pushes, a wave of relief washed over the group; all of them feeling the immediate drop in temperature. The house inside was way better.

Gintoki relaxed slightly at the change of air and refuge the cottage provided. He turned to see how Kagura and Hitsigaya were doing and noticed that Kagura was looking way better and energetic; a contrast with the ice soul, who looked exhausted and still feverish. He turned to Shinpachi, who was also looking at them with a worried expression. "C'mon, Patsuan, let's see if there's water in the kitchen." They walked towards a small, simple kitchen just ahead of them. They easily found some water bottles and were just about to take them when they felt a shift in energy. The resident had just woken up it seemed. Gintoki shrugged, knowing that the mortal most possibly wouldn't even be able to feel their presences. He took some ice cubs from the freezer –and a simple dishcloth to contain them– and went to Hitsugaya who was quietly lying on a coach.

"Here," he muttered and placed it on his forehead. "Try to rest."

Hitsugaya slightly nodded, silently appreciating this soft care –though at the same time feeling a bit abashed at the gentle treatment. Another feature he liked about Gintoki –and his two companions– was that he was one of those few people that ultimately didn't treat him like a child. Even though he seemed to be treating him like one at the moment, there was a change in his demeanor he'd never seen before. The ice Captain had never seen this side of him and wondered if he only showed it to the people he cared about. With this strange feeling of being somewhat comfortable at someone's hands, he closed his eyes. He felt truly safe, if only for a moment.

Shinpachi, who was watching from a small distance, smiled in relief. "Seems he really was exhausted. He's already sound asleep," and he added –knowing he couldn't hear him– "like a child–"

He was cut off by the sound of someone walking down the stairs. Four pair of eyes –Sadaharu was also attentive at the situation– shifted sharply towards the stairwell as they listened to the heavy scuffling of boots descending the stairs. The Odd Jobs instinctively stood around Hitsugaya protectively.

A middle aged man appeared –looking distracted and still asleep. There was nothing out of ordinary with him. He had greasy brown hair tied up in a ponytail and round glasses hanging from the shirt collar. Once he was down, he yawned, put on his glasses, and made a move to go the kitchen – before doing a double take.

The Odd Jobs tensed up as they realized the stranger was looking at them. Scared and wide opened eyes stared; his body started to tremble. "Who– "he looked at Sadaharu in disbelief, "what is _that_?!"

"Oi! Be respectful to Sadaharu!" Kagura scolded him in a loud voice.

Gintoki smacked her upside the head. "Don't be so noisy! Toushi still needs to recover," he scolded her in return.

"You both shut up! And I shut up too!" Shinpachi wasn't left behind.

The man –who was rudely ignored– shook his head, bewildered, before coming back to the matter at hand. He noted intrigued that they were all wearing what seemed to be Wutaian clothing; however, their features didn't look Wutaian at all. They made –with the addition of that Sadaharu creature– quite a bizarre picture.

"Who _are_ you people?" he whispered harshly, not wanting to initiate a new, stupid, shouting match. "What are you doing in my house?" his gaze turned fearful. "If you're looking for something of value, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have nothing."

Shinpachi made a placating gesture with both arms, playing the innocent. "We are very sorry for intruding, sir. We actually thought this place was abandoned and needed refuge for our companion here," he gestured to Hitsugaya, who thankfully was still sound asleep. Shinpachi was a bit surprised at how smoothly his half-lie escaped through his teeth. "We assure you we aren't thieves, or bandits, or whatever you thought."

The man stared a bit worried at Hitsugaya, but made no movement to ease the tension. The kids looked harmless enough; it was the silver-haired man who raised alarm bells. There was something about his posture, the way one hand was casually resting on the sword –wait, was that a _wooden_ sword, though?– naturally, as if there was a close familiarity to the gesture. He was clearly a swordsman –and a good one, he guessed.

He gulped, before asking: "Do you work for ShinRa?" He tried to make sure his voice didn't denote his deep loathe for the company. Just a neutral question.

The silver-haired man's face stayed blank, eyes dead. Only a raised eyebrow indicated his perplexity at the question. "We work for no one," he assured with a rough and low voice –not mentioning for the moment he had no idea what he was talking about.

The man seemed to deflate like a balloon at that, most tension going away from his body. He managed to smile –though it looked more like a grimace– for the first time in a very long while. "Okay, that's all I need. The name's Daniel. How's the kid?" he gestured to Hitsugaya.

"The kid's going to be okay; he's tough like that," the silver-haired stated easily. "We are Gin-chan's Odd Jobs. I'm Gintoki, he's Shinpachi, she's Kagura and that one out of commission is Toushi," he gestured to each of them lazily.

"Call him Hitsugaya, though," Shinpachi piped in with a sheepish smile. "He doesn't like being called like that."

Daniel nodded absently, his face expressing nothing but open curiosity.

"Odd Jobs?" he wondered.

"Yes," Shinpachi continued enthusiastic, "we do things for money –nothing like killing or stealing," he added the last part hastily, when he realized how that must have sounded.

Daniel crossed his arms. "So, how did you guys ended up here, in the middle of Corel Desert?" he looked at them inquisitively. "Your names and clothing suggest you come from Wutai, which is a long way from here."

Gintoki and Shinpachi exchanged glances awkwardly, not knowing what the hell was going on. Kagura, meanwhile, was starting to doze off.

"We are travelers," Gintoki started, with measured words. "We don't have a home anywhere in this planet." And that is the true –even if dramatically worded.

Daniel suddenly looked sympathetic for some reason. There was something hurting and tired beneath those calm, hazelnut, eyes. "I understand. I remember when I read in the newspapers years ago about ShinRa's invasion in Wutai. I was indignant, but not surprised; I always thought it was a matter of time before they'd try to expand their domain to other lands."

 _What the fuck is ShinRa?!_ Both Gintoki and Shinpachi cried mentally. They had no idea where this conversation was going.

"So…huh," Shinpachi started awkwardly. "What's your story? Isn't it dangerous to live here, all alone?"

Daniel took a seat on an old chair. "I don't spend much time here, actually; it was by pure chance that you happened to come while I was here. Like you guys, I spend most of my time travelling."

There was a brief moment of silence. Daniel looked up to see he had captured their full attention and took it as a sign to continue. "I may not look like it, but I'm a journalist. One that's dead to the world," he said ruefully.

"Everyone thinks you are dead?" Shinpachi asked a bit bewildered.

Daniel nodded darkly. "It wasn't by choice. You see, years ago -in this desert- there was a town. I grew up there; a small, simple mining town in which most people were uneducated and worked in the mines," he smiled wryly. "I was one of the few 'lucky' souls who got away. My parents insisted I should study and I got myself a university scholarship. I traveled to Midgar and achieved my dream of becoming a journalist. Then, it all started to fall from there," he paused there with a heavy sigh, crestfallen. "I was doing a doctorate degree, when I received a letter from my parents. They were enthusiastic about the ShinRa company coming to our town to build a mako reactor. Everyone thought that ShinRa's interest for our town would result in an urban development, but…"

"No one thought it could imply something else," Gintoki finished for him with a frown. This was starting to get dark quickly.

"Yes," Daniel nodded, his hands shaking a little."When I read that letter I felt as if they had poured on me a bucket of ice. Have you guys ever seen Midgar?"

They both shook their heads. Kagura -both Gintoki and Shinpachi noted annoyed- was sleeping like a log and would have to learn later everything in a few sentences. Along with Hitsugaya.

Daniel's face scrunched up in disgust upon remembering it. "It's disgusting. No one that lives there can have a good quality life. That was one of the first things I learned when I started living there:more like a city, it resembles a metal monster; you can't hope to see the sky with its toxic fumes lingering around."

"Then what happened?" Gintoki asked, interested to see where the story was going.

"Then it happened. They built the first mako reactor near the town and blew up the town," he smiled wryly. "Apparently they didn't want competitors."

"That's -that's insane!" Shinpachi exclaimed, upset. "How could they?!"

Daniel's semblance darkened. "One of the things I learned in Midgar was that literally everything is controlled by ShinRa; including the media, of course. They made up a half-assed story about some terrorist attack and wrapped it up just like that. What truly disappoints me is that people still believe that."

"People are naive, doesn't matter where you go," Gintoki commented, almost brooding.

"Daniel-san… I know this may sound like a stupid question," Shinpachi started nervously, looking at Gintoki who was looking back with an expression that yelled 'what are you doing?!'. "But, you were talking about mako reactors and whatnot. What is that?"

Daniel looked at him as if he was stupid -what may be true if he wasn't basically from another planet. "Do you guys truly not know?" he asked with incredulity.

"No. Just spare us with the awkwardness and answer us, please," Gintoki asked.

"Mako reactors are basically machines built by ShinRa, which forcefully extract energy from the Lifestream and condense it in mako energy. This mako is what ShinRa uses to make the world work -in their own way, of course."

"So I guess it isn't exactly sustainable, huh," Gintoki commented, already knowing the answer, but wanting Daniel to extend the conversation and as a result give out more information.

Daniel scoffed."Far from it. It's literally draining the planet of its own life energy."

"You still haven't told us how you got here," Shinpachi said, after a brief silence.

Daniel perked up, having actually forgot to tell the rest of his story. "Right. Where was I? Ah, yes. Naturally, when I discovered what happened I was furious and wanted to know the whole truth. I never really trusted ShinRa and the people around me noticed it. Most universities are financed by ShinRa, so they always reply to them, and mine was no exception. When they knew I was planning on uncovering the truth, they sent Turks to kill me."

"Oh? Someone said turkey?" Kagura asked out of nowhere, still half asleep.

Gintoki sighed. "No, Kagura, go back to sleep. I'll wake you up when we have food."

"Mmkay," the Yato was fine with that and turned on her side to keep on sleeping.

"What are Turks?" Shinpachi asked, ignoring what just happened.

Daniel, who looked amused at the interruption, coughed in his hand to regain his posture and continued: "The Turks are basically a group of people who specialize in cleaning ShinRa's screw ups behind the scenes. They do all the dirty stuff you could imagine; from assassinations to espionage and the like."

"They sound like ninjas…" Gintoki trailed off, thinking about a few he knew with a mix of disgust and fondness.

"Ninjas?" Daniel wondered. "I think I've heard of them. They are Wutaian warriors, right?"

 _Ninjas exist here?!_ Both Gintoki and Shinpachi were gobsmacked at the notion. It seemed that this Wutai place had many similarities with Japan.

"Uh, yeah, they are," Shinpachi said, because there was nothing else to add to that.

"So what are you planning to do now?" Gintoki asked him with a serious, but blank countenance. As if whatever he answered wouldn't be a surprise.

Daniel stared at him, stunned for some reason. "I-" he grimaced, "I don't think there's nothing I can do. I wish -with all my being- that I could one day denounce those corrupt roaches and change everything for better."

Gintoki raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Then, why are you doing nothing about it?"

"Because I'll obviously die?" Daniel gave him an 'are you serious' look.

Gintoki frowned. "There must be people out there -just like you- that want to fight ShinRa-"

What he just said apparently gave Daniel an idea, because he widened his eyes and stared at them with renewed hope.

"You guys… you said you do odd jobs. And if you come from Wutai you must hate them as much -or even more- as I do. What do you say, would you help me?"

Gintoki and Shinpachi were surprised at the proposal, but shared looks of approval. Maybe the Captain would bitch about it later, but this man could be a good opportunity to understand more in depht what was happening in that planet. Also, they were the Odd Jobs -they never refused a job to someone who needed it.

They both nodded with resolution and Daniel smiled -truly smiled- for the first time.

"So, how-" whatever Shinpachi was about to ask was interrupted by a series of whimpers coming from Hitsugaya. They all turned to see him twitch in clear restlessness.

"Poor kid's having a nightmare," Daniel -or Captain Obvious in this case- said and stood to get some water bottles that were left untouched in the kitchen.

"I hope he wakes up soon," Shinpachi looked at him with pity.

Gintoki, with his usual blank face and dead eyes, said nothing.

* * *

_"Hyorinmaru?" Hitsugaya asked hesitantly, voice echoing in the black nothingness around him. He couldn't see anything in that vast blackness, only feel a presence that didn't feel at all like his dear friend and zanpakuto._

_Out of nowhere, green tendrils of light surrounded him, touching him in an almost unsure way; as if trying to understand the nature of his origins, his intentions, his whole being._

_Then, all of a sudden, the green energy left; apparently satisfied with what it found._

_But then, in that solitude, a new presence emerged. This one felt malicious and unstable. Everything felt wrong about it._

Intruder _, a female, distorted voice intoned._

_Hitsugaya made a move to grip his sword, only to find he was weaponless. Already on edge, his glowing eyes tried to scan his surroundings, expecting something to appear. Only, it didn't._

You don't belong here

_An invisible hand clutched his throat with full force. Hitsugaya, in panic, brought his hands to his throat, only to discover that there were no physical hands choking him._

Die

* * *

Hitsugaya woke with a start. Between gasps, he touched his throat and realised he was breathing -hardly, but breathing.

"Oi, Toushi, hang on there," a known voice talked and -unknowingly to him- it served as an anchor to truly realize he was there, awake and out of danger. Again, he could feel the textures, the smells, the voices -it was all coming together and getting him far away from that darkness and loneliness.

"Here," this time it was Shinpachi who talked. He put a water bottle in his line of vision, making him realize how thirsty he was.

"It's Hitsugaya," he said with a raspy voice, quickly taking the water bottle offered.

He could practically hear the eyeroll coming from Gintoki. "Dammit, you're starting to sound like Zura."

Hitsugaya hide a little smirk that was attempting to appear, by taking a freshful sip; he was already feeling much better.

"How are you feeling?" A new, gentle,voice asked -one he hadn't heard before. When he looked up, he was surprised it was the human who lived there. He stared at the others with a face that clearly said: 'how can this ordinary human see us?!'. The others -minus Kagura- shrugged. He turned again to the human in question. "I feel… better, actually, thanks and sorry for the trouble," he bowed, grateful.

Daniel, surprised at the kid's serious and mature grace -and were those SOLDIERs eyes?!-, nodded dumbly.

"It's okay," he blinked himself out of his stupor. "These guys over here already explained to me your situation," he smiled indulgently.

Hitsugaya looked at then with a deadpan that now clearly said: 'what have you guys done'.

"I'm going to the bathroom, be back soon" Daniel announced suddenly and left the room.

"Tell me everything," Hitsugaya simply inquired, looking at them both with a sharp gaze, deserving of a Captain's position.

And they did just that. It was only five minutes, but it was enough to tell him about the new information. And the job offer.

"You guys did _what_?!" Hitsugaya harshly whispered, not wanting to get caught by the human in a compromising situation.

Gintoki rolled his eyes exasperated. "Like it or not, this is a good way to get all the information we need. It's a win-win."

"Not if we become terrorists," he almost seemed to spit the word. "If what he said about this ShinRa is true, that clearly means they are the guys in power; and to complete this mission smoothly we don't need such a huge power over our asses! We should stay low and not draw any attention to us. The fact that they can see us already complicates things much more."

"Believe it or not, we already draw attention just with the way we look," Shinpachi pointed out. "I understand your issues with this plan, Hitsugaya-san, but we know nothing of this world, and it would be useful to have someone by our side who's well versed on what goes around here. Besides, I can't, in my honour, leave this man alone. That's my brand of samurai."

Shinpachi fixed Hitsugaya with a look, and failed to notice that Gintoki's sharp expression change into something softer. There was pride almost twinkling in his eyes.

Hitsugaya sighed in defeat and said: "You samurais and your honor," without any real heat.

It was then that Daniel appeared again and shared some meat leftovers he had -I guess it's unnecessary to say that Kagura roused quickly and ate the big rations, much to Daniel's shock. Gintoki and Shinpachi mentally groaned at the idea of having to explain everything once again to Kagura.

"We decided we are going to help you," Hitsugaya then announced in his Captain's voice, which seemed to bemuse Daniel. "On the condition that you ask nothing about us. We have secrets and we want them to remain just like that."

That surely sounded ominous to Daniel, but he understood where they came from.

"Then it's a deal," he smirked.

* * *

While finishing their meal, they started to discuss what their next step would be.

"So, what's next?" Gintoki asked in a disinterested manner. "Blowing up the company's reactor around here?"

Hitsugaya sent him a disapproving glare but didn't voice it; much more interested in finishing his food to recover his strength.

Daniel scoffed. "Nah, let's leave that to the hardcore terrorists. That's not much my style; I prefer gathering intel and exposing them to the world. The journalist-style revenge, you could call it."

Hitsugaya nodded approvingly. "That sounds like a good start; I don't think we should expose ourselves too much if we are against a world power." He shook his head, still in disbelief at how things were quickly escalating. At least they were going on the right direction to complete their mission. The rest didn't matter; he didn't want to get too emotionally invested in all this.

Daniel gave them all a long look. "If we are going to keep a low profile you all need new clothes. And don't even let me start with the dog, if that's really what it is."

Kagura hugged Sadaharu protectively, eyes intent on protecting him. "Sadaharu is our friend. If someone has a problem with him, they'll have to get through me first."

"Arf!"

Daniel crossed his arms but didn't complain. It was adorable, that he could admit. "I don't have enough gil with me at the moment to buy you all new clothes, so it would be best if you all get some yourselves." He stood up and took out a map from a cabinet. "Look," they all -even Sadaharu- came near in a circle to finally see the world's geography. They were all gobsmacked at how small and compacted it seemed.

"If we set off north -towards what used to be my home town-" Daniel continued his explanation, marking the trajectory on the map. "We'll find Flapbeats and Harpys. Each of these monsters drop about 200 gil when killed, and if you guys are strong as you seem, we'll make enough money to buy supplies and new clothes."

"Oi, Gin-san," Shinpachi muttered with a deadpan, while Daniel explained to an interested Hitsugaya and a bored Kagura what those monsters were. "Doesn't this sound familiar?"

"This is an RPG. This sounds exactly like an RPG," Gintoki muttered back, blank faced. "And there are monsters and shit. I wouldn't be surprised anymore if there was a Demon Lord or something as cliché."

"We already have a demon called Sadaharu."

"Ah, you're right."

"So, with everything said," Daniel announced enthusiastic, "let's take all the supplies I have left and go to North Corel. From there, we'll get more supplies and go to Nibelheim, where there's something I want to check."

In less than five minutes, they were prepared and set off.

* * *

On their journey through the desert they found -as Daniel had anticipated- many of those monsters. In total, they got 3006 gil. Daniel was shocked with the ease with which they killed them. Most travelers feared to travel those desolated areas because of the monsters; however, these guys made it looked as if there was nothing to fear. With the speed in which they basically _annihilate_ the monsters, they approached North Corel in less than eight hours. The kid, Hitsugaya, still looked a bit feverish and grumpy; but with enough ice and water seemed to be fairing well. Daniel had noticed with interest that he carried a sword with him; one of those that were typical from Wutai -he remembered Sephiroth's own sword was one as well. He didn't remember the name, but that was okay. What truly interested -and worried him- was why would a kid need one. He quickly left that trail of though as he stared at the girl shoot bullets from her umbrella -her _umbrella!-_ at the monsters. She and Gintoki made quite a team, Daniel thought, as it was just the two of them who took care of the monsters with a mastery he had never seen, but only heard of from the likes of SOLDIERs. He had so many questions in mind, but none of them would be answered soon.

"By the way, Daniel-san," Shinpachi cut him off his line of thought. He was riding with him on the passenger seat of the all-terrain. "You never got to tell us how you survived those 'Turks'." Shinpachi shot him an inquisitive look, but Daniel noticed it was out of pure curiosity; there was no malice behind it.

"I got lucky ShinRa made the mistake of sending the only Turk with a bit of humanity left to kill me. When he came to meet me in North Corel, he chose to listen to my story first. After that, he helped me erase my identity and create a new one. He was really adept at his job; he made it seemed as if he had successfully assassinated me and went back to Midgar to archive the mission as complete. My real name is Erart, by the way; but please call me Daniel." He said all this, almost nostalgically, eyes always ahead.

"Do you remember his name?" Shinpachi asked after a brief silence.

Daniel smiled, as if remembering an old friend. "Vincent Valentine."


End file.
